#TMIishTuesday #55 – Have you always been that thin? – Growing up thin (and small)

Hey!

No
announcements today. Just have fun reading! Oh, maybe one thing: I stole the
first part of the title from a video. More on that later.

Hey there
mighty people of the internet!

And welcome to issue #55 of #TMIishTuesday – my weekly Tumblr post about what goes
through my weird mind and on what you guys want to know more about. It can be something
very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless –
but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well.

// Last week I told you about the shitty
situation that YouTube have created with their restricted mode: Why it has good
intentions – and what goes wrong with it. Check it out, if you haven’t already.
And if you are interested in the topic, here’s a great video by @ashhardell. //

I talked
about body image and what society makes us believe in that regard in a #TMIishTuesday
last November and briefly addressed my own situation: Being really thin – and rather small as
a child. I’m not too small anymore, but I still am really underweight. Inspired by the
DASDING video linked in the foreword, I want to talk a bit about how I
experienced the whole situation. What happened at school and basically
everywhere I went as a child.

I feel
that the things I experienced were not as bad as the ones mentioned in the
video. Still: It hurt when people questioned the same things every time.

The
first time I met new people (I should say guys cause girls didn’t care for the most part), it
always went a little bit like this: “Hi, my name is Damian.” – “Oh,
[insert comment about my stature]”.
I don’t remember kindergarten too much,
so I assume the other kids were fine with my stature then – or at least it didn’t
bother them enough to make fun of it. But when I got to primary school, things
started. Slowly, but steadily. I knew some of the kids from kindergarten still,
but there were lots of new people as well. And they started asking me how I
could be so thin? Questions like: “How do you even survive then?”
started. And I forgive them: When you’re 6, 7 years old, you’re just curious. And you’re
straightforward enough to ask such questions.

I was
the smallest child in the entire class – even if I was a year older. And height
was all that mattered to define who was cool and who was not. Still, I made
it through primary school with only one situation that really stuck to my mind.
But compared to what was to follow, it really wasn’t that dramatic. And if I
recall correctly, it wasn’t even about my stature, but rather about wearing the
“right” underwear. Yepp, children can be very picky.

Then
came secondary school – and the drama really started. I knew about three people of my class
and everyone else were new faces. 27 potential new bullies. And pretty much all
of the guys came for me. They picked on me for being small. They picked on me
for being thin. They told me I was anorexic (which I never was, luckily!). They told me my parents didn’t care
for me. They tried to convince me to stop living vegetarian (cause that’s where
being so thin came from according to them). They tried to make me do more
sports.

I had a
few hard years to go through, being call names for being so thin. The guys
wanting to touch my belly cause it was so skinny. Being lifted off the floor. And so on and so on. (I started writing this
pretty late, so this is all for the list, but it could get much longer for
sure!)

Well,
guess what? I only grew stronger from that. Not physically, but mentally. And I
learned how to take the underlying ridicule: Just ignore it. And if it gets too
much, tell them off and show your teeth! It worked.

In tenth
grade we had a class trip to Berlin. We only were only 11 guys in class, so we walked
around Berlin in that group of 11 (for once it was one group, not the seven or
eight “cool guys”, the two outsiders, and me). And we decided we
wanted to have dinner at the Mac. Like you do when you’re 16. And on the way,
everyone was trying to convince me to stop being vegetarian and finally taste a
burger. But I insisted I wasn’t going to do it. They even told me they would
pay for it. After a 10-15 minute discussion my patience was gone – and I told
them in a very decisive tone that it was not gonna happen. I would not taste a
burger – even if they tried to convince me for another 100 years. And guess
what? It didn’t happen. I had my fries and was fine. They all got their burgers
and were also fine. There were some attempts to still make me try a bite, but I
sticked to my opinion.

After
tenth grade, as puberty was taking a turn for the more reasonable and more
accepting, we got a new class and things got better. I still was the skinniest guy of them all. But at least we had another
guy in class, who was skinny as well. Granted, he wasn’t the most accepted, but
it worked for him. And it kinda worked for me as well.

From then onwards,
my stature didn’t matter anymore at all! I’ve met a lot of new people in the meantime. Uni, another uni, work, school, another work. Life’s fine. I’m still a veggie, I
still have the BMI of a feather, and I still don’t care too much what people
say about my body. Yeeey!
Btw, my two best friends became veggie, too.
Independent of each other. I feel I should take credit for that – even though I
never tell people how to live their lives.
If you want to eat meat – fine.
If
you want to color your hair (who would do that right? Haha 🙂 ) – do it!
If you finally got the guts to get an appointment at the therapist
to get that testosterone subscription – go, boy!

Whatever
you do – do it with passion!
Be who you are and be proud of it. Or to quote
Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong:
“Don’t
let these bastards dictate your life and try to tell you what to do,
alright!?”
(quote from the performance of the song Minority
at a Milton Keynes concert in June 2005)

Before I
go let me know whether you are satisfied with your stature and what people tell you about it. Tell me, I wanna know! Place a comment, tweet me, dm me, or do anything else
you can think of to get to me.

Queer Shoutout you say? How about Sam Collins then? I know, I listed pretty much
all of the LGBTQ+ creators I’m subscribed to on YouTube just last week, but let
me shout him out individually cause he deserves it. I discovered Sam by someone
retweeting his “I’m FTM transgender” video. It’s basically his coming out video. He also explains how he found out
that he is a guy, although he was born as a girl. He talks about how he lived
before and after he found out.
After the video, he kinda changed his channel and incorporated videos on trans
issues. And they are actually that good that I think, they deserve more
attention. Whether you yourself are transgender or not – watching them will
definitely educate you. He covered topics like top surgery, transitioning and
passing tips, signs you might be transgender, dating tips, and much more. And I
feel he’s very open about everything. Oh, and there are lots of topics not
related to trans stuff, too. Go, check him out!

As
always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any
questions in the meantime, just ask away.
Whatever you’re curious about – I don’t bite. 🙂

Until then: Stay mighty!

Linkage:
– DASDING: Ja, wir sind dünn – Komm bitte damit klar!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpaWYLSrjs8
– #TMIishTuesday #53 – I dyed my hair:  http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/158402870513/tmiishtuesday-53-i-dyed-my-hair
– Queer Shoutout: Sam Collins: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCySTKqYThqBbKdEtzOjFhgg
– Sam Collins – I’m FtM Transgender: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O68dTOfdeVw


Oh, and here’s some self-promo:
– Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/158675683464/tmiishtuesday-54-youtube-stop-censoring-us
– All #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi
– More #TMIishTuesdays on society topics: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/language
– More very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian
– Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com

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